As the old saying goes, "You're not really famous until you have to contest a biopic about you." So is the case for Empress of Pop Madonna, who, in 2017, shared her distaste for screenwriter Elyse Hollander's not-yet-produced movie about the Material Girl and her rise to fame.

Following the news that Universal was developing the project, titled Blond Ambition, Madonna (whose turns 60 this month) wrote on Instagram:

"Nobody knows what I know and what I have seen. Only I can tell my story. Anyone else who tries is a charlatan and a fool. Looking for instant gratification without doing the work. This is a disease in our society."

IMDb Pro lists the film as still in the "script" phase of development.

Nobody knows what I know and what I have seen. Only I can tell my story. 📚Anyone else who tries is a charlatan and a fool. 🤡. Looking for instant gratification without doing the work. This is a disease in our society. ✍️🙃

A post shared by Madonna (@madonna) on Apr 25, 2017 at 10:26am PDT

So how did Blond Ambition come to be, if Madonna herself had little interest in seeing it on the big screen? It's simple, really: Blond Ambition is, apparently, a great script, one selected by industry leaders as the best of the year.

In 2016, Hollander — whose previous credits include the assistant to the director on 2015 Best Picture Oscar winner Birdman, as well as a number of shorts — earned the top spot on The Blacklist, an industry-wide list of the most-liked unproduced screenplays.

According to Blacklist founder and film executive Franklin Leonard, who spoke with Refinery29 about the list, "the annual [Blacklist] is simply a survey of Hollywood gatekeepers most liked unproduced screenplays from that year." Typically, the list consists of a mix of scripts from established writers (Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained was once on the list) and newcomers who wrote something particularly buzzy.

According to the logline for the script, which was shared on Deadline, the script tells the story of Madonna's now well-known journey through New York City in the '80s, as she "struggles to get her first album released while navigating fame, romance, and a music industry that views women as disposable."

"It’s hard for me to say why it, in particular, ended up top of the list," said Leonard when asked about Blond Ambition. "But it does continue a trend of biopics finding their way onto it: Hillary Clinton, Fred Rogers, Michael Jackson, Jim Henson, etcetera. I suspect it has something to do with getting well-written insight into the humanity of people most of us experience only as icons."

Soon after the 2016 Blacklist's release, Universal swooped in and scored the rights to Hollander's screenplay. Producers Michael De Luca and the since-disgraced Brett Ratner reportedly signed on to the project, per The Hollywood Reporter. Still, as far as the public is aware, Blond Ambition(which takes its title from her legendary 1990 world tour) has not received a greenlight to enter production, nor has anyone been cast as Madonna herself.

Madonna's disapproval seems like the biggest indication why. Madge, in a since-deleted Instagram, claimed that the script was inaccurate. She wrote:

"I was born in Bay City, not Detroit. And I did not drop out of high school. In fact, I went to University of Michigan."

Yet it seemed that Hollander did do her research, at least about those specific details: Madonna herself states them in a clip from American Bandstand. In an interview with Dick Clark, the pop star says that she was born in Detroit and is a "famed high school dropout."

Though Madonna did note that particular moment in the script, The Hollywood Reporter states that there were actually a few other moments that she might have an issue with. The script implies that Madonna stole a pivotal fashion look from a woman she met in the downtown club scene named Bianca Stonewell. Near the end of the script, Madonna tells her then-boyfriend and producer, Jellybean Benitez, that she aborted her pregnancy so she would not have to choose between "family and career."

Biopics don't inherently need the approval of their subject — Mark Zuckerberg wasn't thrilled about his callous depiction in The Social Network, and the movie went on to win three Oscars. The problem with Blond Ambition, specifically, is that without Madonna's approval of the script, it's unlikely that the film would be able to use any of her original music. And really, what's a movie about the making of Madonna's first, eponymous album (released in 1983) if your film can't feature renditions of classics like "Lucky Star," "Borderline" and "Holiday?"

Refinery29 has reached out to representatives for Madonna. Representatives for Hollander declined to comment for the story.

Given Madonna's pushback, it's possible that the movie won't ever see the light of day, at least in its current state as a telling of the "Lucky Star" singer's life.

There is, however, some good news to all of this drama. We need more women's stories onscreen, and more women to tell them. Hollander, by way of this Madonna-centric script, proved she's a voice capable of doing so. Perhaps her next project, be it a biopic or completely original piece, will make it to the big screen — no snarky Instagram response necessary.

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This past April, Instagram took stern action against a particular class of drug-related hashtags. You probably wouldn't have noticed unless you were actively searching for them, or they regularly appeared in posts on your feed, but #oxycontin, #fentanyl, and #opiates were completely removed from the app or appeared with very limited results, seemingly overnight.

The decision came amidst mounting pressure from the FDA, senators, and advocates, for social media platforms like Instagram, which can harbour dark web players, to help curb the spread of the opioid epidemic. Many argued these platforms were not doing enough to police potential drug sales that initiated online and used corresponding hashtags — and phone numbers in bios — to draw in buyers.

"Internet firms simply aren’t taking practical steps to find and remove these illegal opioid listings," Scott Gottlieb, the FDA commissioner, said in a speech at the National Rx Drug Abuse and Heroin Summit in April. "There’s ample evidence of narcotics being advertised and sold online. I know that internet firms are reluctant to cross a threshold; where they could find themselves taking on a broader policing role. But these are insidious threats being propagated on these web platforms."

Last week, CNN reported that Instagram had taken an even stronger stance: Search for #fentanyl or #opiates now and you will no longer see the message that previously appeared, "Recent posts from [the hashtag] are currently hidden because the community has reported some content that may not meet Instagram’s community guidelines." Instead, there is just a brief three-word signal that these are now banned: "No hashtags found." Instagram confirmed the bans, telling Refinery29, “Keeping the Instagram community safe is our responsibility and we spend a lot of time thinking about how we can create a safe and open environment for everyone. We have taken action against this content – including removing the @fentanyl_connect account and blocking the #fentanyl hashtag.”

While Instagram certainly has cause for removing these hashtags — they can, indeed, be linked to accounts trying to sell the drugs, which is expressly forbidden in the app's Community Guidelines — experts are at odds on how large of a role social media apps actually play, how much action they should be required to take, and ways to effectively prohibit drug sales. The bans on drug-related hashtags speak to the larger challenges of trying to proactively target illicit activities on social media while allowing for the free speech of those who use such hashtags without illegal intent.

In contrast to Silk Road, a dark web marketplace for drug sales that appeared in 2011 and was shut down by the FBI in 2013, social media apps are home to what the DEA calls street level dealers. "There are obviously people selling drugs or advertising that they can sell drugs on social media platforms, and using hashtags to do it," Wade C. Sparks, a special agent in the Office of National Media Affairs at the DEA told Refinery29 over email. "These situations usually involve a street level dealer selling directly to a drug user, as opposed to people moving large quantities of drugs."

Although Sparks says technology does play a role in the DEA's investigations, hashtags are not usually involved. The DEA is focused on "the highest echelon of traffickers," those using more secure, encrypted servers, as opposed to street level buyers. "In other words, I would be surprised to see a major Mexican drug cartel trying to sell 100 kilos of cocaine using hashtags on a public social media platform," Sparks says.

But what about those street level dealers? Are they drawing in new customers via Instagram and expanding existing drug problems to a larger portion of the population through social media? The answer, as with most of the complicated issues facing tech companies these days, is not as black and white as it may seem.

“In terms of media effects, if I’m on Instagram and I see somebody promoting opioids or the otherwise illegal consumption of drugs, the research shows that the effects of that are likely very weak," Michael A. Stefanone, an expert in social media and an associate professor of communications at the University of Buffalo, says."The people that would respond to a drug dealer’s phone number [on Instagram] would seek out those drugs in other ways as well."

"In other words, I would be surprised to see a major Mexican drug cartel trying to sell 100 kilos of cocaine using hashtags on a public social media platform."

However, there is evidence that the content young people are exposed to online can impact their beliefs. The Rand Corporation, a non-profit research organisation, looked at the effects of youth exposure to another substance — alcohol — online. They found that the majority of the 11-to-14-year-old study cohort viewed alcohol and drinking more positively after seeing an average of three alcohol ads per day. It's plausible, then, that increased exposure to posts related to banned substances might have a similarly normalising effect, if not a positive one.

The disparate beliefs about the impact that seeing illegal substances on social media can have on viewers speaks to the lack of the research on the topic. As an American Academy of Pediatrics article on “Digital Media and the Risks for Adolescent Substance Abuse and Problematic Gambling ” says, social media research is still in its early days, making it hard to know how the effects of online exposure compare to offline exposure.

There is something to be said for the fact that even if drug dealers are not necessarily attracting new users, they can can easily connect with existing drug users online, making the platforms where these exchanges take place unwilling facilitators. The challenge facing Instagram, Facebook, and other social media apps and sites is that "there is currently no system in place to identify these types of criminal acts," Patricia A. Cavazos, PhD, an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Washington University's School of Medicine.

Hashtag bans are one attempt to target them, but that's not always effective. For starters, there’s often a way around them. As CNN noted, the process of eliminating hashtags can be like playing an extremely frustrating "game of whack-a-mole": Those who are trying to sell drugs through social media will find ways around a ban, using related hashtags to reach users (search for #oxycontin right now on Instagram and you'll find similar alternatives, including the obvious — #oxycontins, and less obvious — #oxycontin40mg). Although dealing with drug sales should be an easier task than, say, figuring out how to handle a controversial figure like Alex Jones, constantly evolving approaches to gaming the system complicate these efforts.

Secondly, the same hashtags social media apps have banned are often used by those working in drug prevention and drug treatment, as well as by the DEA, Sparks says. In other words, not everyone who posts #fentanyl is coordinating a drug sale, meaning that many posts that don't violate Community Guidelines can get caught in the crosshairs of a hashtag ban. Take, for example, posts that report on news of drug-related arrests. While Instagram aims to preserve hashtags, the consistent abuse of specific ones can necessitate their removal.

For drug-related hashtags, one chapter has reached a seemingly inevitable conclusion. At the start of last week, searches for #cocaine on Instagram still pulled up hundreds of thousands of results. When Refinery29 reached out to Instagram to ask why results for #fentanyl were hidden, but #cocaine were not, Instagram took action and blocked posts with the hashtag.

“Instagram prohibits the promotion and sale of illegal drugs,” A spokesperson said. “Our team reviews reports and will remove content if it violates our policies.”

But, if past games of whack-a-mole are any indication, you can expect more where those hashtags came from as the fight continues.

If you are struggling with substance abuse, please visit FRANK or call 0300 123 6600 for friendly, confidential advice. Lines are open 24 hours a day.

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The average Ikea store is approximately 320,000 square feet, or roughly the size of 24 Olympic-sized swimming pools, according to information compiled by Google. As if the sheer size of the store isn't overwhelming enough, most locations carry about 10,960 products at any given time. That means it can be quite a challenge to pick out the perfect piece while perusing the home goods megastore. Luckily, there are certain Ikea items that stand out, ones you can't go wrong with because of their track record.

According to Ikea, there are a number of products that rank as the most popular of the company's 75-year history — many of them you'll likely recognise. These are the pieces that you've undoubtedly seen in a number of different homes around the country or even around the world. Maybe you even own one of these iconic items yourself.

Among the 13 most popular products are pieces of furniture, small decorative items, storage solutions, and more. And, they offer a mix of comfort, reliability, and affordability, the same qualities that keep many shoppers coming back. Knowing all the items that are most beloved by fans could make deciding between 10,000-plus options much more straight forward.

Take a look ahead to find out exactly what they are.

There is a lot of product out there — some would say too much. At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team, but if you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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If you were to heed the words printed on the latest drops of bi-annual culture magazine 032c’s recently launched line of apparel, you’d be right to indeed resist the “resist” sweatshirt. Yet as soon as somebody like DJ Peggy Gou is spotted wearing one on Instagram, it sells out instantly. The 032c fanbase is growing as much offline as it is online, embodying the free spirit of a brand that took its name from a Pantone shade of red. While the vibrant colour still forms the basis of each issue’s layout, its clothing doesn’t rely on the same gimmickry.

What started in Berlin in 2002 as a magazine has since developed into a veritable platform. 032c considers itself a Manual for Freedom, Research, and Creativity, which manifests as much in each issue as through its various events, exhibitions, and merchandise. Two years ago saw the arrival of the brand’s first items of clothing, with its very first ready-to-wear show in January 2018. The collection was shown during Pitti Uomo in Florence and was a showcase of what 032c believes in. Meaningless merchandise? Not on Maria Koch’s watch. Koch is not only wife to editor-in-chief Joerg Koch, but also the designer behind 032c apparel; she boasts previous work experience at Jil Sander and Marios Schwab.

Below, Koch opens up about fans of the brand who haven’t heard of the magazine, why she doesn’t think the Kardashian hype will wear off any time soon, and what the appeal of streetwear today is really all about.

Have you taken something niche and kickstarted a trend with 032c Apparel?
"We don’t identify ourselves as niche. There are other, supposedly more commercial titles that are much more niche, actually. We have a readership of 75,000 and online followers on top of that. We’re independent ­ —that’s how we manage to work the way we do. Joerg and I are the only shareholders.

"We also launched Apparel because I’m a designer. I originally wanted to set something up on my own, then I put that aside. 032c was always meant to be more than a magazine — we do events and exhibitions; we consult fashion brands; we’re co-owners of the Reference festival, and Joerg is still editor-in-chief of Ssense, too. You can’t rely on print alone anymore. Newsagents are dying out. It’s a problem.

"We quickly developed from merchandise to real apparel because our pieces are more than just fan merchandise. At the Reference festival in October, we’ve got the first women’s ready-to-wear show, mixed in with the men’s line."

Was there something that triggered the launch of the first pieces?
"It was a few different things. We found kids on Instagram that had drawn 032c onto T-shirts. Then there were people that had made their own 032c phone cases. And friends were telling us we just had to do it."

How do you feel when people wear your clothes but don’t know the 032c brand or magazine?
"It happens; we know that. Just because somebody wears Chanel perfume doesn’t mean they will have seen or understood the latest couture collection.

"It’s normal and I don’t see it as a problem. Lots of people don’t know that there’s a magazine at all. A few young people have told me that it’s [just] a clothing line — I think that’s funny, even cool. I don’t need the intellectual side of things. And it works the other way round, too — lots of people don’t know the clothing. It’s exciting to us to have both."

How does the design process differ from menswear to womenswear?
"Each has different criteria. I struggled with Apparel at the start because I’d done women’s ready-to-wear for 15 years. But I see it as a challenge and an opportunity to learn."

What inspires you?
"Everything I come across. That might be through travel, or it might be through music or Instagram or — of course — exchanges with my husband."

What music do you most like to listen to?
"I listen to rap, a lot of soul or '90s pop, and classical music. I don’t think my musical taste is particularly elaborate. I like it hardcore or catchy and poppy. Classical music absolutely breaks my heart though — I’m completely gone when I listen to it — so I can’t really listen to it every day!"

What kind of posts do you like seeing on Instagram?
"That’s really hard to say. I unfollow people as soon as I find one of their posts stupid. The most cliché, annoying post is food. The pretending-to-enjoy-it or food as some kind of fetish is banal and bleak."

How do you choose who to collaboration with?
"It’s a question of expertise. If I wanted to make a phone, I’d go to Apple. If I were looking to create a wax jacket, I’d turn to Barbour. And so on. We want to work with experts."

What would be the dream collaboration for you?
"A perfume with Frédéric Malle. I love the aesthetic and the standards they work to. Plus, it’s a brand that’s supposed to be niche, yet it’s insanely successful."

How do you motivate yourself when motivation is otherwise lacking?
"I don’t believe in the idea of having specific things you can rely on to inspire you or anything — that’s crap. I’m strict about going into the office every day, even if I don’t want to. There’s always something that needs doing. Deadlines force me to make decisions, and that’s what leads to a creative process."

How do you deal with doubt and worries?
"They’re part and parcel. You shouldn’t necessarily pay mind to what other people think."

What’s the reason for the focus on limited editions?
"It’s not that we’re looking to create hype. We limit things from the outset so as not to overproduce. We estimate quantities realistically. Limited editions aren’t part of a marketing strategy for us. I can’t bear when products are discounted pretty much straight away."

Does it also have something to do with sustainability?
"Absolutely. I used to teach a design strategy master’s program in sustainability within fashion. And for me, that’s not all about organic fabrics. I think it’s unintelligent in general to deal with resources irresponsibly. The same applies to a workforce. Overstocking and exhausting the market…I don’t get it. Why do I need something in 50 colours if there’s one shade that’s the perfect shade? Sustainability is simply stronger and more powerful than more flippant, mass-market approaches."

Are seasons still important to you?
"No, so much has changed on that over the last few years. Key pieces always work. I might buy a cashmere sweater in summer if it’s what I need at that time."

Do you ever design for yourself?
"All the time actually. There are pieces that I’d never wear which turn out to be bestsellers though! [Laughs.]"

How would you describe your personal style?
"It totally depends on my mood. My style is a bit all or nothing — sometimes it’s super opulent, other times it’s very minimal. I’ll get dressed up for an event: big dress, extravagant jewellery, the highest heels. My everyday uniform is a silk blouse and jeans. I guess I’m about sex appeal and a certain sense of class."

Do you shop [for clothes] when you have downtime?
"No. I know the profit margins, so I don’t see the point. That's not the case with beauty, though. I’m totally into beauty products."

Do you have a beauty routine?
"I try a lot of different things out. I watch YouTube tutorials sometimes, and I ask friends that have particularly good skin which products they use. I like Biologique Recherche and Dr. Barbara Sturm. I've used to use a lot of Sisley before, too. For perfumes, I love Frédéric Malle — I have three that I mix together. For as long as there’s no 032c perfume anyway…"

What do you like about Berlin?
"The unbelievable quality of life. It really fits to my idea of culture and the size of a city. I like the worldliness. And you can’t do too much in one day — I can really concentrate in Berlin. Lots of people say that it’s easy to just float around, but I see it differently. The quality of life attracts an exciting kind of person. It’s what makes our team possible. You don’t need to pick up shifts in a bar of an evening, like you would maybe have to in London, for example. Plus, our children love the city too."

Could you imagine living anywhere else?
"I’d find LA exciting — I don’t really understand the city but so many relevant youth movements have come from there: skate, grunge, the whole aerobics-inspired thing… And I’m a fan of Salzburg in Austria. In Salzburg, I like the musical history, the landscape, and the quality of the food. I love how clean the streets are kept too, even if it can come across a bit stuffy. Maybe right now I’m just attracted to places that are the opposite of Berlin."

What do your children think of 032c Apparel?
"Sometimes June will come in and do some work with us to earn some cash so she can afford pieces herself. Karl isn’t interested in fashion. I like it when June loves something. She’s almost our target group and thinks the collection is really cool."

Who would you love to see in 032c Apparel?
"We’ve had most of them already. Maybe we shouldn’t meet the people we admire from afar — it’s easy to be disappointed. Like Monica Bellucci. I think she’s crazy beautiful, but I can’t say at all if she’s smart. I think Milly Bobby Brown is great; Djuna Barnes; even Kim Kardashian. I think she’s really great — meant quite unironically. Or Anne Imhoff. These are all people that are completely individual and who have a certain intensity about them."

Isn’t the Kardashian hype wearing off?
"I think people that are less consistent in what they do are more likely to wear off. I think, in the future, she’ll be on the same level as Marilyn Monroe and Jane Birkin — as somebody who represents a certain time. Right now, many people, understandably, still laugh at her. But many people today define themselves through the superficial and through aesthetics. The Kardashians are quite fantastically bizarre. It’s impressive. The redundancy of it all as well. I find [them] to be very poignant."

Could you imagine being more in the foreground as a designer?
"Being famous, so to speak, isn’t particularly interesting to me. But it’s part of my job to show my face and give interviews, etc. — to be approachable."

What role do you think gender has to play in the future of fashion?
"Separate from my own private preferences, gender plays absolutely no role at all for me."

What’s the appeal of streetwear?
"Streetwear works because fashion comes from the streets. It’s purely sociological. We trust the establishment, with their suits and business wear, less and less. People we’re meant to take seriously often don’t have a uniform anymore because this look is no longer immediately representative of success and respect. Not everybody gets that though. I’d still define streetwear as a kind of alternative wear."

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On August 24, Spike Lee’s BlacksKkKlansman, a movie based on a wildly true story about an undercover operation to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan with a black detective from Colorado Springs in the ‘70s, is out in cinemas. Considering everything old is new again, and that thee silhouettes from the ‘70s are in high demand, we asked costume director Marci Rodgers about the pieces from the film we can wear in real life. Turns out: She’s banking big on denim and fringe.

“I love fringe,” Rodgers tells Refinery29. “A good fringe coat or jacket will take you far. It never goes out of style.” It was important for Rodgers to work with pieces, like fringe, that feel timeless, but also speak to the time period in which the story was set. The costume designer sourced tons of items for the film at costume houses in New York and LA, but also she says, scored big in Brooklyn vintage shops like Beacon’s Closet and L Train Vintage. After Lee sent Rodgers the script, she says she set up shop in Howard University’s library in D.C., where she dug through an archive of black magazines like Essence, Ebony, and Jet to make sure the clothing was historically accurate.

Actress Laura Harrier’s character, Patrice, is an activist who is a mash-up of Angela Davis and Kathleen Cleaver, two women who were very active in the black power movement. “Patrice needed to always be in black,” Rodgers says, noting that she kept it interesting by playing with different textures. As for Connie Kendrickson (played by Ashlie Atkinson), who is plus-size, Rodgers couldn’t rely on finding the perfect item at a vintage shop. “I also designed a lot of her clothing (as well as pieces for John David Washington) because she is a full-figured woman, so I just wanted to make sure she was represented correctly within that era.”

“I’m still in shock,” Rodgers says of working with Lee on the film. “I just wanted to make sure everything was historically correct while adding my flair here or there,” she notes. “And that everyone leaves thinking love and not hate.”

BlacksKkKlansman is in cinemas August 24.

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From dire warnings to business advice, Erica Korman has heard it all in her time as a medium — a profession she only came to after years of working as a psychotherapist in both clinical and hospital settings. That might not mesh with the mainstream image of a medium (beaded curtains, crystal ball, an overall macabre and mystical appearance), but trust us, Korman's unique background plays a major role in her work now.

Korman recently spoke with Refinery29 about her process, the first experience she had with the other side, and why her background as a psychotherapist is an advantage as a practicing medium.

Interview has been edited for length and clarity.

What was it like when you started receiving information from the other side and how did your journey into mediumship progress from there?
"When it started, I was receiving what I know today as a 'download' which is where I receive all this information in my head that I have to write down. The first [spirits] were relatives of my husband and [I received] words like 'Frogger' — [their message] was about a Frogger watch. I just kept hearing things in my head. I was able to see these clues and know who [it was for]. Then I’d see a vision of a person, whether it was my husband or a friend of mine, and I knew this information was connected to them. I was a trained psychotherapist and had worked with every psychiatric disorder there is, so I knew I wasn’t becoming schizophrenic or anything like that. I know what that looks like.

"Most of my life, I just knew things about people. I knew I was psychic, but I was still super confused, super scared, super anxious. I had two great friends who knew more about this stuff than me and they said, 'Erica, you’re receiving. You’re channeling.' They said, 'You're a medium.' I’m like, 'What are you talking about? What is that?' But I was a little less scared because I had them."

So, you can hear things and you can see things — do you experience or receive information from the other side in any other way?
"Some people have one [sense], some have two, some have all. I pretty much have all: seeing, hearing, feeling — I didn’t really like taste and smell. They’re a little bug out for me. You can close things off and they go away, but once in a while I’ll have that — all of a sudden, I’ll smell cigarette smoke and that’s a spirit working with your senses to try to show that this person was a smoker or something like that."

What does a regular session with a client look like?
"Everybody’s different. Some people come because they’re curious. Some have one specific person they want to hear from. Some are just really open and psychic, and know that they’re feeling their people and just want a confirmation.

"I work with crystals a lot. Crystals have different vibrations and energies and they really help me work. One of them grounds my energy (because I’m working in another dimension, if you want to call it that). One helps to open my psychic abilities. One helps to relax me. I usually have a couple of crystals in my pockets or in my hands. Then, just to ground and relax them, we do a five minute breathing meditation... It’s like a three way connection — the people that have passed’s energy, my energy, and then the person that I'm sitting with, they have to be open and relaxed. Some people are super easy reads because they’re so open. Then others, the meditation helps.

I hug, I cry, I say how sorry I am. It’s always weird to me when [other mediums] don’t do that.

"By that time, the spirits are ready to go... And that’s not only coming from relatives that have passed. We all have guides and spirits that are giving me that information... We just open up to whatever comes through and I've never had people not come through... There’s so many spirits or loved ones wanting to connect all the time, even if you think you haven’t had a lot of losses, they want to connect with you... Maybe people that weren’t so good when they were here come back with a lot of apologies. Sometimes the spirits give advice."

"If I feel like we need to meditate after [making contact] or just relax, we’ll do that. And that’s about it. It’s not like I’m blurting out information, saying goodbye and having no warmth or empathy. I’m aware while I’m doing this what it’s freeing up in the person."

How, specifically, does your background in psychotherapy inform your work as a medium? Are there certain “tools,” so to speak, that you implement in your work?
"Empathic listening. People feel when you’re with them. They feel your empathy and your warmth. I’m there. I hug, I cry, I say how sorry I am. It’s always weird to me when [other mediums] don’t do that. I get that they’re focused and that’s not their job — they aren’t psychotherapists... Most of us were taught way back when, 'You’re a clean slate. Don’t bring any part of you [into the session].' I do the complete opposite now. I share details from my life...

"This isn’t like getting a service done, like getting your nails done, this is super emotional. After we have a session, I always ask them how they’re feeling. I usually check in after, like the next day or the day after, whether it’s just a text or whatever to see how they’re feeling, because I know it brings up so much."

Now that you’ve made mediumship your profession, do you still receive random downloads?
"Rarely, mainly because I don’t really want to. I have a busy life. I have kids. I have friends. This is now my work — it’s still my passion, but I have good boundaries now. [The spirits] were just doing that to open me up... It’s very rare [to happen now], but I know if it’s happening it needs to happen for a reason."

If you mention that you work as a medium, will people ask you to channel spirits at the drop of a hat?
"Yeah, all the time."

Is that annoying?
"Yeah... I just laugh and brush it off and try to explain that’s not how it works."

What do you hope people take away from working with you?
"[I just hope they] feel better knowing that it’s real and that their loved ones are around them. I want them to just feel happier — more at peace, more healed... If I could add just a little more healing, happiness, closure, and peace to someone’s life, that is what I’m doing."

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For years, sex therapist Vanessa Marin would often see clients who were worried about their "sex number," (the number of people they'd had sex with in their lifetime). Sometimes, the concern was over a mismatch in their number compared to their partners'. But, other times, they'd realise that their sex number was climbing higher than they wanted, and worry about what that said about them. "Then, they would get judgmental about their own sexual decisions," Marin says.

Yet, in the last year, she can't remember a single time one of her clients brought up sex numbers. Maybe that's indicative of a change in how people are thinking about sex, or maybe it's just a coincidence. But, either way, there's no question that our culture is not only becoming more sex positive, but also starting to recognise that "sex" doesn't mean the same thing for everyone. So what does your "sex number" mean in 2018, when sex is not longer well-defined? And should we even worry about keeping track anymore?

To some, the answer is that sex numbers aren't worth counting (and they never were). "People are pushing back against sex negativity in a number of ways," says Shadeen Francis, MFT, a marriage and family therapist who specialises in sex therapy. "For many, that has meant abandoning keeping track of sex number, which historically was used as a way to shame people for having 'too few' or 'too many' sexual experiences. " And that makes total sense. Why keep around a practice that has been used to police people's sexuality, as well as further harmful stereotypes about race (Black women are perceived as having higher numbers, Francis says, because of stereotypes that Black women are promiscuous). In a new, more sex-positive society, the number is totally arbitrary. "You learn very little, if anything, about a person through their sex number," Francis says. "Let's say your partner's sex number is 10. Maybe they had sex with one person 10 times. Does that give you different information than imagining that they had sex with 10 people one time?"

It absolutely doesn't, because the number is just a number without any context. Yet, Marin does see value in keeping track of our sexual experiences in some way, though just counting the number of people we've slept with may not be the best way to go about it. In college, she had a friend who kept a spreadsheet of all of his sexual encounters. "It wasn't just this conquest, alpha male, kind of thing," she says. Her friend wouldn't just track names. He'd track the experience itself, and that could be incredibly useful.

Most of the time, people think about their sex numbers in a very shame-based way, Marin says. And that's not beneficial. But what if you were looking at the "data" objectively? Keeping track of your sexual experiences could actually tell you a lot about the kinds of sex you want to have, and what kinds of people you want to be having them with. "That could be really interesting, to take a look at which decisions make you feel really good and healthy and which decisions didn't end up feeling like they serve you," Marin says. Much more valuable than the sheer number of people you've slept with, are conversations about the kinds of safer sex practices both you and a new partner use, whether or not you're into monogamy, what your kinks are, and what your sexual boundaries are, Francis says. "And if you're talking about someone's sex number but not entering a sexual relationship with that person, then quite likely it isn't any of your business," she says.

So, instead of doing away with tracking sex numbers, let's take the shame out of it. "If we really want to move in a sex positive direction, then it's actually going to be talking more about our sex numbers and having it be something that's out in the open," Marin says. You don't have to stop counting unless you want to, just recognise that we can't attach any kind of value (positive or negative) to the number itself. Because it's not how many people you've slept with that make you an attentive lover, it's how much you've learned about yourself in the process.

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Raised by a beauty school dropout, it was written in the stars that makeup artist Vincent Oquendo would find his way to the Instagram feeds of the Hadid sisters and Hailey Baldwin. But the road to 91,000 followers wasn't as smooth as some might expect. From the sunglasses counter at Saks Fifth Avenue to becoming the BFF to the most famous supermodels in the world, Oquendo's story is nothing short of a mystery and a miracle. Here, he tells writer Samantha Sasso how he got his start, why his clients trust him so much, and exactly what he thinks we should expect of bride-to-be Baldwin on her big day. This interview has been edited for clarity and length.

Born With A Love For Beauty

My mum was a beauty school dropout. But she never pushed me into the industry like she did my three older sisters. I was her little boy. Still, I always loved making women feel like their best self. That was always part of it for me, even as a child. I would always help my mum with her hair and makeup and was just sort of around and available to assist when she needed me.

Eventually, when I got a bit older, I wanted to get a job at Saks Fifth Avenue because I heard the people there who worked in perfume made $19 an hour. The idea of making that much blew my mind, but I didn't get the job. Instead, I sold sunglasses on the sales floor. That counter just so happened to be right next to the cosmetics department — and I absolutely fell in love.

So, I switched gears and started working at the Stila Cosmetics counter, then moved to Yves Saint Laurent, and finally finished my career at Saks with Bobbi Brown. After working at that counter for four years, I got a chance to work on a shoot for America's Next Top Model as an assistant. There, photographer Mike Rosenthal saw potential in me and requested that I do the makeup for his shoot on Cycle 13 of the show in Vegas. I got to do the makeup all on my own and that caught the attention of Pat McGrath.

A post shared by Vincent Oquendo (@makeupvincent) on Dec 6, 2012 at 6:51am PST

A Behind-the-Cover Star

About four years after that, I got the opportunity to do the cover of W magazine with Jessica Chastain around the time she was starring in Zero Dark Thirty. I landed the job thanks to my connection with the artist designing the shoot, Mickalene Thomas. I'd worked with her before, doing the makeup for some of her pieces, which was tremendous. Looking back, I know now that my work is immortalised in her art, but getting that cover in 2012 was bittersweet. I had just landed the biggest magazine cover in the country and had no jobs lined up after the fact. I was a mystery, a complete unknown to publicists and photographers. I had to build my career from the ground up from there. No one really wanted to take a chance on me — until they did.

I remember in the beginning of social media, I was in Paris with Jen Atkin. We were running around like chickens with our heads cut off, assisting McGrath and Guido Palau respectively. We both realised fairly early on that we had to create a brand and a voice of our own. We had to give our fans — before we even had fans — a peek behind the curtain. It's been that that's made me so successful. I've been able to curate a voice on social media, so people understand me. It's like opening a magazine: There's a distinct tone and style you notice. My feed is about establishing that. For example, I'll take Polaroids and lay them on a textured background, or use black and white filters. Whatever it is, it's unique to me.

A post shared by Vincent Oquendo (@makeupvincent) on Oct 9, 2016 at 7:37am PDT

The Model Man

No one knew me, but I knew the models. I knew them from working backstage at the fashion shows. And because of the resurgence of the supermodel around 2014, these women were getting more and more red-carpet opportunities. So, they'd text me, asking me to do their makeup. Fast forward to now, the supermodel — and the Instagram supermodel — are really having a huge moment.

Eventually, I met Bella and Gigi Hadid, then Kendall Jenner when she was first breaking out on the scene. I was also introduced to Hailey Baldwin when she was working on the ad campaign for Tommy Hilfiger’s fall ’16 with model Lucky Blue Smith. I'd actually worked with her cousin Ireland before working with her, which just shows how deep the roots run in this industry. Hailey was relatively unknown then — it was just before she was with IMG — and she was pretty green to the world.

A post shared by Vincent Oquendo (@makeupvincent) on Feb 21, 2018 at 11:39am PST

Pushing Makeup To The Max

Working with Hailey is all about trust. I'm one of the few makeup artists that she works with who pushes her to try the kind of looks she wears. I think it's because we've known each other for so long that I can get her to try wildly-coloured shadows and lipstick, like at the Brit Awards this year. That crazy, blue detail was so unexpected. We'd been having conversations about it all week. Then, we did it. It was thrilling because it was something brand-new.

Hailey is very, very, adventurous. When she calls me, it's when she wants to try something, when she's feeling adventurous, when she wants to push the boundaries a little bit. In New York earlier this year for the Tiffany & Co. Paper Flowers event, I originally did a very demure and natural makeup look on her. Then, she looked at herself, looked at me and said, "How about we do a little more purple?"

I can't think of a time she's pushed back and said "no" when I've suggested trying something new. Sure, sometimes there's coaxing to warm her up to the idea, but she's never said, "No, I don't want to try that." It's really a testament to her wanting to make something memorable. She's always been fearless in that sense.

A post shared by Vincent Oquendo (@makeupvincent) on May 4, 2018 at 9:52am PDT

His Skin-Care Secrets: Stem Cells & Eye Drops

When I did the blue lip look, there was so much prep work for her skin. Because when you do a navy-blue lip, it cools down the skin and makes everything look paler. Normally, I always paint her warmer, but I had to double what I usually do for this one. First, I used the Kevyn Aucoin Liquid Contour Wand, then pressed in the Benefit Cosmetics Hulu Cream Contour Stick. Over that I used both the dark and light colours in the Charlotte Tilbury Bronze and Glow to sculpt her cheekbones. Finally, I topped that off with the Giorgio Armani powder blush. It's a lot like a recipe. It's layering and layering — and that's just the makeup. Her skin is all about the prep and prime before that.

My formula is simple. I love Dr. Barbara Sturm's Facial Scrub as a first step. Then, I use her Deep Hydrating Face Mask that I'm totally obsessed with. After that, I recommend using a serum. I love Georgia Louise's Stemcell Renewal Elixir  because it adds even more luster to the skin. Then, I use Shiseido's Waso Mego Hydrating Cream as the base for the makeup — it's perfect. I also always use Lumify Eye Drops to brighten the eyes and reduce any redness. The last thing I do is use Bite Beauty's Agave Lip Mask and Sugar Scrub. At this point, she has baby skin. If someone is dehydrated, their lips are chapped, eyes are red, it will take away from the look. So, I always gift my clients a goodie bag of skin-care products for them to use when I'm not around. I do that because it's all this cumulative stuff over time for them to do when I'm not with them. That's what makes the makeup so good. I could add a glowy powder to their faces until my fingers fall off, but the skin needs to be polished underneath first. With my clients, including Hailey, I've only had to use concealer after all the lotions and the potions because they already look their best without the makeup.

And although I wouldn't feel comfortable predicting Hailey's bridal look, I will say she's going to want to feel like herself. I don't know if it'll be a moment for a big look for her. I think she's going to be no different than any other bride and just want to feel and look like her best self.

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As my other half clears the kitchen table, heaping our children’s books into a pile on the windowsill and placing a bag over the back of a chair, my hackles rise and I immediately move to put the books in their rightful place. Ironically, there’s nowhere for them to go because we have too many books and not enough space. But still, I can’t bear to see them in a pile. Similarly, if someone in my family leaves washing up water in the sink, I have to empty it immediately.

But I’m not a neat freak. Far from it. In fact, I have drawers spilling with uncategorised items and our cellar sometimes doesn’t bear going in. It doesn't make sense, but if you’re also the child of a hoarder, you’ll probably recognise my confusing and somewhat hypocritical behaviour.

For example, I’m simultaneously fine with having seven bags full of random items hanging up in the porch but will not tolerate crumbs on the work surface when I return from a night out. Spilled sugar makes me feel extremely panicky but a drawer rammed with cables and batteries, not so much.

Growing up, a messy house was all I ever knew. It was only when I moved through primary school that I discovered that most people didn’t have to move piles of clothes to sit on a settee or that other people’s baths didn’t have a constant dirty ring around them. It was completely normal in our house to come across a large patch of dried-on cat sick or an unidentifiable smell that might turn out later to be rotten food. To the adult me (and, no doubt, to anyone reading this) that seems pretty shocking but it was just how my parents and I lived.

I had friends around occasionally in the early years but they soon started making excuses (or, more likely, their parents told them they weren’t allowed). I once walked up the stairs to my room to overhear one of my friends say, “Oh god this house is SO weird”.

Going to other people’s houses, on the other hand, was a real thrill. I was pathetically desperate to go visiting – anywhere. I’d fetishise the shiny surfaces and delight when I drank out of a clean cup. If I knew we were going to someone else’s house, I’d cheer up immediately; I'd try and create endless excuses for having to go places. Of course, the cleaner and tidier the house, the better.

When I made a dear friend in secondary school I spent virtually every Friday night at her house. She’d ask whether she could come to mine and I’d make excuse after excuse, lie after lie about whether I was allowed or whether my parents were in. She once asked me in front of my mother who said, “Course you can come! Any time” while I squirmed in embarrassment. I never allowed the subject to come up again.

I tried to make my own space clean and tidy but – and here’s the thing that only the child of a hoarder will understand – if nobody ever shows you how to clean, you never really know how to do it properly. These days I bathe regularly, I wear deodorant and I clean the toilet after I’ve used it. But I honestly didn’t know how to do this until I was well into my late teens. I just didn’t know that was how it worked.

I was in my 20s when I discovered that hoarding was a thing, via TV programmes such as How Clean Is Your House. Of course they made compelling and essential viewing but I watched through my fingers. I would also get unreasonably angry when people talked about piles of papers and referred to hoarders in affectionate terms, as though they were collectors. Our house wasn’t full of dusty old books or eccentric trinkets; it smelled of cat wee and was full of mouldy cups.

Oddly, my father (who died more than a decade ago) wasn’t a hoarder. He was just extremely laid-back/loath to upset the house of cards and so he never bothered to clean unless it was absolutely necessary – if he physically couldn’t get in the bed, for example, or if we needed the table to eat on.

So, because I’d never really seen my parents tidy up, I wasn’t equipped with the skills to do it for them or myself. By god I’d try. I’d get the hoover out and start putting papers in piles, only to be told to leave things alone. One of the most notable features of a hoarding disorder is the aspect of control; being a hoarder and being a bit messy are two very different things. I am a bit messy and think I probably would have been, however I was raised. But hoarding is a control issue and so cleaning up can be incredibly stressful for someone with the condition. Hence, most people who have tried to clean my mother’s house have been met with short shrift or they’ve sensed the anguish their words cause and backed away.

The scars can run deep for the offspring of hoarders. “Children need to feel like they fit in a home to form healthy attachments,” says psychologist Dr. Amanda Gummer, founder of Fundamentally Children, “and problems occur when the lifestyle of the parents conflicts with the personality/temperament of the child. This isn’t always an issue but children need to feel that their home is their own and reflects their values and personality. And when it doesn’t it can be painful and have a lasting impact.”

“Hoarding is such an obvious trait,” says Dr. Gummer, “that is difficult for children to cope with and the usual tactics – avoidance, distraction, confrontation – aren’t effective.” Dr. Gummer talks about the "Goodness of Fit" model, which is simply defined as the compatibility between environment and a child’s temperament. Poorness of fit occurs when this is not respected and accommodated. It’s been suggested that children are more likely to reach their potential when there is goodness of fit.

I’ve now lived (far, far) away from my family home for longer than I lived in it. My own house is a busy, lively home rammed with books and with no space on the walls. We have two children and two dogs so it’s messier than the average. My mother-in-law would probably say it's unbearably cluttered. It’s essential to me that people visit constantly, perhaps as validation that our house is welcoming.

Nonetheless, the effects of growing up with a hoarder have never left me. In addition to the aforementioned double standards, I won’t allow food upstairs, ever – so breakfast in bed is an absolute no-no. If we have visitors I spend hours cleaning (in my own half-trained fashion, of course), I’m obsessed with incense and would rather my guests sneezed endlessly than caught a whiff of a food smell, I force my other half to clean up WHILE he’s cooking, and heaven forfend he leaves a draining can in the sink (our kitchen sink was always full of old tins and carrier bags). While it must be quite tiring being a hoarder, living with the legacy of it is exhausting.

But Dr. Gummer warns of the knock-on effect my reactions might be having on my own children: “In terms of lasting impact, having an extreme reaction to having grown up in a hoarder’s household can create problems for the next generation too,” she says. “It’s all about control and a feeling of belonging. If there are irrational behaviours such as excessive tidiness or storage fetishes that young children are struggling to understand, then they are likely to suffer from that too.”

Hoarding: The facts

In 2018, hoarding was classified as a medical disorder for the first time by the World Health Organisation (WHO).

The NHS defines a hoarding disorder as "where someone acquires an excessive number of items and stores them in a chaotic manner".

Hoarders often also experience obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or symptoms of anxiety and depression.

It is thought that around one or two in 100 people are hoarders.

For more information visit Hoarding UK.

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Beyond the odd statistic here and there, or the little we can infer from shows like Orange Is The New Black, most of us know very little about women and the criminal justice system. Needless to say, the reality isn't as pleasingly packaged as the popular Netflix story arch and there are actual humans behind the figures – 48 percent of women leaving prison are re-convicted within a year – that are infrequently reported.

Taking the criminal justice system as the uniting theme, On The Edge, a new trilogy of 30-minute dramas created by three up-and-coming female writers, offers a 360° view of what life is really like for women in Britain's complex (and unyielding) crime and punishment network.

In the first film we're offered the criminal perspective. On The Edge: Through The Gates follows Aimee, a young woman who has spent most of her years in and out of prison. While we're not told exactly what Aimee did to find herself behind bars, as we watch her story unfolds. She is released and tasked with re-adjusting to life in the outside world we're given a sharp and unforgiving view of the circumstances that continue to work against her. With no parents to turn to and a grandmother who's surpassed her tolerance limit, Aimee's left homeless, jobless and with no one to depend upon other than Tessa, an empathetic parole officer who's life has fallen into a similarly cyclical pattern that's proving difficult to break.

It's frustrating to watch, but that frustration comes from the dysfunctional systems that Aimee and Tessa struggle to navigate. Your heart bleeds for Tessa as she defies her dirtbag boss to bend to the will and needs of the angry and vulnerable young woman who has quickly become her responsibility. Your chest tightens every time Aimee is rejected despite her best (and occasionally misguided) attempts to reconnect with society. What do we learn? That the system isn't built to accommodate the varying needs of offenders, specifically young women, who require more support than a quick meeting and signing of a document offers when they leave custody.

On The Edge: A Mother's Love takes the challenging view point of the witness. Single mum Josephine is desperate to protect her 11-year-old son Ishmael from the fate of his imprisoned older brother. Ishmael witnesses a gang crime on their estate, is asked to testify against the killer and is relocated to the middle class home of his mum's sister, Claudia.

There's a lot at play here. Beneath the surface where Ishmael's narrative as the young black boy caught up in the type of incident that often reduces a community of men to unfortunate statistics plays out, is the influence of class and prejudice.

This is a story of social allegiances as much as it is the murder case itself. And, as reiterated by the painfully difficult choices Josephine is forced to make, a disproportionate amount of that pressure often falls on the mother suddenly facing the consequences of her child's decisions.

The final instalment is hard to watch but, much like the two before it, is incredibly important and upsettingly common. On The Edge: That Girl documents the raw and chaotic story of a young woman who we later learn to have been the victim of an unreported crime. Ashley likes to party hard, and is living with her comparatively tame best friend Becca and her boyfriend. Through a series of incidents on messy nights out Becca is triggered into facing the incident that she's tried to forget and her life begins to spiral.

The drinking gets heavier, the drug taking more troublesome and the worrying interactions with men points towards what might have happened in Ashley's past. But as the clues are put together and we slowly come to realise what Ashley might be suffering as the devastating motivation for her erratic behaviour becomes clear.

The first two instalments of On The Edge are on Channel 4 tonight at 10pm. On The Edge: That Girl airs Wednesday 15th August at 10:30pm.

If you’re worried about your own or someone else’s drinking, please contact Drinkline on 0300 123 1110. If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.

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You may not be familiar with Korean-American jewellery designer Yoon Ahn yet, but it's time to get to know her. She's kitted out everyone from Rihanna to Kanye with her slick hip-hop-inspired brand AMBUSH, the 2017 LVMH Prize finalist label she runs with her partner, the rapper Verbal. In April this year, close friend and longtime collaborator Kim Jones appointed her as Dior Homme's jewellery designer when he took the helm at the French house.

Her first collection for the brand, presented in June, saw models adorned with signet rings on every finger, monogrammed gold studs, safety pin earrings, and a street-inspired refresh of Dior's signature bee. With a roster of fans including Naomi Campbell, Kim Kardashian West, Skepta, A$AP Rocky, and Kate Moss, it's fair to say the industry has fallen for the designer.

We caught up with her to see which pieces of jewellery she can't leave the house without, how she first met Kim Jones, and where she draws her inspiration from.

A post shared by YOON (@yoon_ambush) on Jun 23, 2018 at 8:10am PDT

Hey Yoon! Tell us about how you first got into the fashion industry...

I didn’t go to fashion school, and hadn't worked in fashion before. Verbal needed jewellery for his stage outfits, but we couldn’t find what we wanted in the existing market, so we started to design it ourselves through a few jewellery makers we had met in Tokyo. We started off with 18KG fine jewellery, but from those special pieces we went on to make small POW! rings and pendants for ourselves and to give out to friends - the rest is history.

A post shared by AMBUSH® (@ambush_official) on Jun 20, 2018 at 7:09am PDT

And from there AMBUSH was born?

We were making a few pieces for fun, and fun can only last so long. There is a point when you have to really decide if you can take this further or not. Around 2012, we started to put proper collections out, so I personally think this is when we kicked off properly as a brand. I feel like everyday has been like being in a school since then. Everything was learned on the job.

You and Verbal are quite the power couple. What's it like working as a husband and wife duo?

It's not as hard as people make it out to be. I think it's because we're both are clear about what we're doing for the company and know each others strength and weaknesses, so its easier to work it all out.

A post shared by YOON (@yoon_ambush) on Jun 23, 2018 at 3:50am PDT

You've dressed some of the biggest names in the fashion and entertainment industry - what do you think draws them to the brand?

I think the boldness and uniqueness of it speaks to them. Actually, I would like to know too! I think they just liked it and wore it.

Is there anyone you'd love to see wearing AMBUSH?

I just love people who are comfortable in their skin. They are the ones who embrace the style in their own way. If I could dress anyone it would be Cindy Sherman. It would amazing to see how she interprets the pieces into her work. Also, I would love to design custom pieces for characters in a sci-fi movie one day.

You're known for your raw aesthetic, from padlocks and chains to safety pins and crystals - where do you find the inspiration for these details?

In everything – from the spirit of punk to tribal adornment. The ethos of D.I.Y in rebellious youth culture. They all have a sincere rawness in self-expression that really inspires me. Jewellery doesn’t have to be about status. Jewellery should be extension of self-expression.

A post shared by AMBUSH® (@ambush_official) on May 29, 2018 at 3:28pm PDT

How did you first meet Kim Jones?

We have known each other for over a decade, before his turns at Dunhill and Louis Vuitton. We first met in Tokyo through Kanye, backstage at a Teriyaki Boyz gig, when Kim was working with him on his Pastelle clothing line.

What do you like about him?

He is a designer’s designer. I always had so much respect for him and have learned a lot from him. It's so wonderful that we can finally work together.

And what about Dior?

It's the one of the oldest and best couture house in the world. The richness in its heritage and archives are just out of this world. It's a huge honour for me to be there.

A post shared by YOON (@yoon_ambush) on Jul 23, 2018 at 5:31pm PDT

Your first Dior Homme collection in June was beautiful - what did you want to do with your debut for the brand?

It was so beautiful and elegant! Of course the pieces compliment the clothes, but more than that, I wanted to be bring the couture side to the jewellery, but also make it wearable for both men and women. Pieces you would wear whether you're dressing up or down. I think that’s really modern way of dressing.

What kind of jewellery do you personally like to wear?

My own AMBUSH pieces mixed with vintage, and now Dior Homme pieces of course! I couldn't go without short necklaces, earrings and rings.

A post shared by AMBUSH® (@ambush_official) on Apr 7, 2018 at 11:11pm PDT

What are you excited about right now?

There's so much more to life outside of fashion! Right now, I'm kind of obsessed with A.I, Androids and Humanoids. It's only matter of time and technology development before they catch up with - or even become smarter - than us. It's made me question: if they become more human than humans, what ultimately makes us us? Something to think about...

What's next for you?

There so many fun things lined up next few months. AMBUSH has a joint pop-up with Amazon coming up, and our first Nike collaboration is debuting in December!

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On a sunny in Friday in May, we in Ireland voted to Repeal the 8th Amendment to the Constitution (effectively improving reproductive rights and abortion access for women). That night, my friends and I hugged and cried on the streets of Dublin. It was official – we were no longer second-class citizens. There were tears of jubilation and hope too, that a line had been drawn under what has amounted to decades of oppression for women.

You might even be thinking of your last trip to cosmopolitan Dublin and think 'Is she for real? What oppression?' But the darkest chapters of Ireland’s treatment of women and their children happened not so long ago.

Now, a new vivid, well-researched and emotive BBC podcast, The Home Babies, throws an unforgiving light on one particularly grim stain on Irish history.

In 2014, a news story broke in Ireland that was at once shocking, yet in some ways not at all surprising. Local historian Catherine Corless had decided to research the Bon Secours Mother & Baby Home in her locality, likely inspired by her own childhood memories of the institutions (she went to school with many children from the local home, and recalls their "otherness").

Almost by accident, Corless's research threw up evidence of a mass grave at the Bon Secours Mother & Baby home in Tuam, Co. Galway. The site was originally thought to be a mass grave from The Irish Famine in the 19th century. Further research over the next three years brought the ugly truth to light – 796 children had died in the home. Death certificates had been issued, but the burial records remained at large. And with that, the unassuming Corless became something of a reluctant Erin Brokovich-type figure, striving to make herself heard.

Before we go on, *raps blackboard with cane *, a wee history lesson first.

A toxic brew of religion, traditional values, lack of contraception (and abortion) and misogyny meant that women got an especially raw deal, and unmarried girls who got pregnant were shamed and roundly vilified

The Catholic church and the Irish State were effectively one and the same for much of the 20th century. A toxic brew of religion, traditional values, lack of contraception (and abortion) and misogyny meant that women got an especially raw deal, and unmarried girls who got pregnant were shamed and roundly vilified. These women’s only crime was having sex – possibly even enjoying sex – outside of marriage.

Shunned by their parents and the community, women pregnant out of wedlock were either sent to Mother & Baby homes away from public view, or left with little financial choice but to seek the help of the Catholic-run institutions. Others were sent to the now infamous Madgalene laundries, also run by nuns, to toil day and night for their sins.

The men involved, incidentally, was largely unaffected by the scandal, and would go on to have other lovers, and raise families of their own, with impunity.

"If a girl got pregnant, they’d go to the priest and the priest would say, 'we’ll look after it'," explains Josie, an interviewee in The Home Babies.

"The [women] would come in [to the home] in the dead of night, through the ‘wicked’ gate," observes another local. "You never heard of it, keep it to the background and leave it there. It was a taboo."

It has emerged that the residents of Mother & Baby homes (and Magdalene laundries) were subjected to vile physical and emotional abuse at the hands of nuns. In the mired logic of the powers that be, there were ‘sins’ to be repented for, and their babies were often taken from their mothers without consent, to be sold, trafficked or adopted.

Though it’s unlikely that true figure will ever emerge, it’s thought that around 35,000 women and girls went through Mother & Baby homes – either to give birth to children or, if finances were dire, to raise them – between 1904 and 1996. Some were converted workhouses, and most were run by religious orders.

The Home Babies ’ reporter Becky Milligan travels into the darklands of the West of Ireland, and unravels the knotted history of the Bon Secours home and Corless’s unstinting journey towards the truth. The episodes contain emotive testimonies from former residents, as well as recollections of locals who lived near the home. Many of whom were reluctant to chat.

In some moments in The Home Babies, the anachronistic attitudes of 1950s Ireland don’t appear so far away. "I don’t know you’d describe them," coughs one interviewee, searching for the appropriate, perhaps least offensive term. "Unmarried women I suppose".

Corless’s findings eventually broke as international news story last year. The world was shocked; we in Ireland, less so. If sweeping scandals and injustices under the carpet was a sport, we'd be Olympic champions. The country has long been aware of how women have been treated.

"It’s a big thing, shame," observes Milligan at one point. "It causes all sorts of grief..."

In my professional life, I’ve interviewed several women with first-hand experience of Mother & Baby homes. The scars run deep and wide.

Those who gave birth in them spent the rest of their lives looking over their shoulder as they attempted to hide their secret. "I’d have genuinely been better off going home and telling my parents I’d murdered someone," one woman recalled to me, without a hint of exaggeration.

Another woman I encountered had been born and partially raised in a home in Dublin, and went on to experience a myriad physical and mental health challenges as a result.

I’m not a violent person, but I’d gladly burn the place to the ground

"I’m not a violent person, but I’d gladly burn the place to the ground," she admitted.

For these women the truth needs to be told, worldwide.

In Ireland, it really feels as though we’re striving towards a society that’s more compassionate towards women. Corless’s efforts are a huge part of that. A month after the abortion referendum, 230 survivors of the Magdalene laundries were commemorated by the Irish President, five years after a State apology. Still, try as Ireland might have done in the past - we can’t forget. We shouldn’t forget. A retroactive apology and public acknowledgement won't undo the years of torment Irish women and their children endured but it’s a start.

The Home Babies is available here

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I’m not blessed with good skin. I was blessed with good hair and I have a theory that most mere mortals don’t have both. I had severe acne as a teen, which left me with pigmentation marks and temperamental, oily skin that is definitely prone to a hormonal spot or seven. Because of this I’m pretty product cautious. When I find something that works I tend to stick to it religiously.

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed a surge in the humble supermarket beauty offerings. Similar to their clothing departments, the brands have had to work hard to compete with the high street. They've been working hard to develop formulas that not only work but contain buzz-worthy ingredients (often the same as those found in luxury brands) but boast eye-catching packaging just like their pricey counterparts.

ASDA’s award winning nspa range has been acclaimed by beauty insiders and customers, offering “affordable and indulgent beauty products, designed to treat even the busiest people”. It’s a huge plus for me that none of the products or raw materials have been tested on animals. Similarly, Sainsbury’s offering - Source Of Nature - is vegan and cruelty free. Beauty buying manager, Rebecca Wicks, tells Refinery29, that the brand wants to make vegan skincare accessible for all shoppers by providing high-quality products at affordable prices, while Waitrose beauty buyer, Sarah Minness, explains their Pure range has been a hit with shoppers, "offering shoppers quality, innovative beauty buys that are kind to skin, the environment and purse strings.”

After a re-vamp of their in house fashion, M&S is hot on the beauty bandwagon too, their Formula range is created with over twenty years of expertise in intuitive skincare, aiming to be, in their words, “the ultimate anti-ageing solution”. Aldi and Lidl are also ever expanding their skincare ranges, due to resoundingly positive press and beauty product sell-outs. I mean, who doesn’t love a bargain? With that in mind, I made it my mission to test the ranges out to see if they really are all they promise...

Makeup Remover

I stopped using face wipes this year when I read up on how bad they were for the environment. I now realise why everyone had been banging on about Micellar water – my skin has never felt cleaner, softer and been less spot-prone. I usually use La Roche-Posay's Sensitive Micellar Water, £16, to clean my face in the morning and to take off my makeup at the end of the day. This week, I swapped it out for Waitrose’s Pure Micellar Water, £2.50. The main ingredient, waterlily, is said to help soothe and calm skin and I can report it took my makeup off perfectly. It didn’t leave a sticky residue either, which had put me off when I tried a cheaper micellar water previously. I like that Waitrose’s version is suitable for vegans and is paraben and sulphate free. I think I have just saved myself a fortune (£11 per 400ml to be exact.) We’re off to a good start with this budget beauty malarkey…

Cleansers & toners

I try to be consistent with my skincare and start every day with a proper cleanse, but sometimes I let it slip. I think using a product that feels indulgent means you’re more likely to keep up the use and see the benefits. I’d already read reviews that said Aldi’s Lacura Hot Cloth Cleanser, £3.99, was a convincing dupe of Liz Earle’s Cleanse & Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser, £16.50. This was a sell-out last year and was so popular with customers that they’ve brought it back. It exceeded my expectations, removing my makeup and leaving my skin ultra-soft. The muslin cloth alone feels like it’s worth £3.99, plus the scent (the cleanser is infused with rosemary, chamomile, cocoa butter and eucalyptus oil) is a treat.

Confession: I don’t usually use a toner, so adding in Sainsbury’s Source of Nature Purifying Toner White Tea & Green Tea, £2, felt like a bonus already. Plus, it costs less than my morning coffee. After a week I could tell my skin was responding well – my makeup seemed to go on better and (though I can barely type this for fear of jinxing) no spots thus far. For £2, I’d pick this up again.

Face masks

In my everlasting quest to keep spots (particularly the hormonal variety) at bay, I found my skin reacts well to a weekly face mask. The world became charcoal obsessed last year and I followed suit. My skin seems to love The Body’s Shop Himalayan Charcoal Purifying Glow, £17 - it literally feels as if it’s drawing out impurities as it dries. But at £17 for 75ml, it's costly and I probably only get four to five uses out of a pot. I tried to forgo it for ASDA's nspa Detoxifying Charcoal Clay Mask, £1.50, and Waitrose’s Pure Hydration Mask, £3, but nothing beats The Body Shop. No swapsies here, I’m afraid. I’m sticking to my old faithful.

Moisturiser

I've tried many day creams in my time, but my absolute favourite is Nivea’s Oil Free Moisturising Day Cream, at the grand price of £4.10. I've stockpiled it for years. The oil-free aspect seems to work so well with my acne-prone skin. I wear it every day and often mix it with my foundation to create a tinted moisturiser on days I don’t want to wear a full face. But as I near 30, I’ve become conscious that as much as I like my freckles, they multiply every time the sun is out and I'm worried that if I don’t start using an SPF moisturiser soon, they will basically become age spots. Plus I want to protect my skin from harmful UV rays. I trialled a few SPF moisturisers, from factor 10 through to 30, but they've been too thick for my oily skin. I think my search may be over, though. As soon as I applied ASDA's nspa Expert Daily-Rejuvenate Cream, £10, I could tell the light texture was going to bode well. It sinks in straight away and doesn’t feel heavy on my skin. As much as I love my under-a-fiver bargain, I don’t mind paying £6 more for something that’s going to protect my skin from sun damage in the long run. It’s also worth mentioning, with the rose gold packaging – it looks ten times its price. After two weeks using the day cream, I can safely say it's a keeper.

Night cream

I often find night creams too thick for my oily skin, so miss it out of my routine, hoping my serum/face oil will be enough. At night I usually switch between three of The Ordinary’s Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1%, £5, Salicylic Acid 2% Solution, £4.20, and Alpha Arbutin 10% + HA, £7. I’ve found using any of these three products before bed means I wake up without any blemishes. But now, as I hit 28, I want something more. Because I don’t particularly want to spend a lot on something I have managed this far without, a budget night cream would be ideal. M&S Formula Absolute Ultimate Sleep Cream, £22, Aldi’s Caviar Night Cream, £6.99, and ASDA's nspa Expert Nightly-Repair Cream, £10, all felt equally gorgeous on the skin and I would happily buy any of the three. They absorb easily, smell pleasant and didn't feel too weighty. If I was feeling flash (kinda), I’d go for the M&S option, but I’m also privy to the absolute bargain that is Aldi’s. In fact, the caviar range is said to be a dupe of La Praire’s Skin Caviar Luxe Cream, £345. If you have sensitive or dry skin, Waitrose’s Pure Hydration Night Cream, £6.50, and the Sainsbury’s Source of Nature White Tea & Avocado Night Cream, £3.50, felt more soothing. Both were just a little too thick for me.

Eye cream

I’ve tried many eye creams, from the luxe and expensive to the cheapest of the cheap, mainly they are all pleasant and cooling on application. I've never woken up and said, wow, but I still like to use them. That said, Waitrose’s Pure Hydration Eye Cream, £5, felt as good to me as any, so it’s a potential re-buy. The cotton milk and shea butter extract are said to help skin feel nourished and hydrated. If you have specific hang-ups, say, puffiness or dark circles, I could see why you would want to spend more on a specialist eye cream.

Exfoliators

The St Ives Face Scrub, £4.19, is a bit of an old faithful for me, even though it's deemed as a harsh scrub. All I can say is that it works for me and it's affordable. Much like the face mask, I didn’t find a supermarket equivalent that cut the mustard. If you have sensitive skin, or just prefer a gentler physical scrub over acids, ASDA's nspa Brightening Micro Derma Scrub, £5, was my pick of all the supermarket offerings.

Facial oils

I usually use the bareMinerals Eternalixir Skin Volumising Oil Serum, £38. I love using it with my jade roller and the two combined give me the softest skin. Always looking for a cheaper alternative, I was excited to try Waitrose’s Pure Hydration Facial Oil, £6. Ingredients include shea butter extract, apricot, olive and Vitamin E, to soothe and hydrate. While I can’t say it’s as impressive as bareMinerals, it isn’t bad either. It’s a whole £32 pounds cheaper, so on weeks when payday feels lightyears away, I'd happily opt for this.

Serums

My skin seems to drink up serum and I can noticeably see a difference when I use it. I’ve been hooked on Soap & Glory’s Make Yourself Youthful Super Serum, £20, for years now, but so it seems is everyone else, because since I first started buying it, I’ve seen the price go up and the bottle get smaller. It's only 30mls, so doesn’t last me long. While ASDA's nspa Exert Rejuvenating Serum, £10, didn’t feel revolutionary, my skin still felt soft and hydrated.

I was sold on the claims that crocus chrysanthus bulb extract is proven to help reduce the appearance of ageing skin, such as pigmentation and wrinkles.

The verdict

I actually kept my skincare swap up for two weeks. I’d conclude that, on the whole, there is no doubt that you can find effective products at the supermarket. Whether you’re experimenting like me or looking to save, I’m confident that even the most luxe-loving beauty aficionados could find something to love in those aisles. For me, Waitrose's Pure Micellar Water, ASDA's nspa SPF Day Cream, Aldi’s Lacura Hot Cloth Cleanser and Night Cream were all stellar supermarket discoveries. My skin has looked and felt a little better, probably thanks to the addition of toner and an SPF, but next time you’re doing the food shop, I'd definitely suggest picking up a few bargains. See you at the checkout.

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The year of privacy and data concerns continues: According to an AP investigation published today, Google continues to store information about the whereabouts of Android and iPhone users, even after those users turn off the search engine's Location History. This is counterintuitive, since as the AP points out, Google's Location History support page states that turning off the service means " the places you go are no longer stored."

The AP, whose findings were corroborated by researchers at Princeton, learned that turning off Location History only stops your location from being added to your daily Google Maps Timeline. Meanwhile, another feature, called Web and App Activity continues actively recording your location.

In order to stop location tracking altogether, you will need to "pause" both your Location History and Web and App Activity.

To do so, sign in to your Google Account online and go to Activity Controls. Toggle off both Location History and Web and App Activity. In order to delete all of the data already saved in your Web and App Activity, you'll need to go to the My Activity page. As you scroll through, you'll see everything from recent communications you've had with the Google Assistant to what you searched for on Gmail and Google and the number of times you used Instagram. To remove each piece of saved data, you need to go through one by one, tapping the three dots in the corner and selecting "delete".

The AP's investigation was prompted by a blog post published back in May by K. Shankari, a graduate researcher at UC Berkeley. Shankari first started looking into the issue in July 2017, when, she recounts, Google Maps asked her to rate her visit to Kohl's: She had not used Maps to get there, and had her Location History turned off. "So how did Google Maps know where I was?" she asks in the post.

At the heart of Shankari's post and the AP's report is the issue of transparency, which is one that has been heightened in a post-Cambridge Analytica ecosystem. Users want, and have a right to know, when and how their data is being stored in the clearest terms possible — plus, what it’s being used for.

Refinery29 has reached out to Google for comment.

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Our adoration for the ‘90s knows no bounds, and thanks to a sweet new collaboration between British American designer Mimi Wade and Polly Pocket - yup, our most prized plastic childhood possession - we’re basking in nostalgia once more.

To celebrate the relaunch of the shell and heart compacts (shout out to those who still have the originals in their parent’s loft), Mimi has created a pastel-hued and lace-ruffled collection with the toy brand exclusively for Selfridges. Sure, on paper it sounds a little childish for 2018, but, due to Mimi’s penchant for making a babydoll dress totally wearable IRL, the capsule is full of pieces that we are genuinely coveting.

“I was fascinated by Polly Pocket as a child - being able to carry around a pastel coloured dream world in your pocket still remains a charming concept,” Mimi, 26, explains. “I was always designing my dream home heavily inspired by the different compacts she lived in; a fairy in a toadstool house, a cowgirl in her own Texan stables, a mermaid living in a shell, a waitress in her own diner…”

For the collaboration campaign, model Moffy is photographed looking like a ‘90s dream, wearing the collection’s hero pieces: pistachio, lilac, and blush silk satin dresses in babydoll and slip styles - which come complete with giant velvet bow sashes - and lace-trimmed T-shirts, all adorned with printed Polly Pocket graphics.

The collaboration also includes jewellery that look good enough to eat, paying homage to the chunky plastic necklaces we dressed up in as kids. Working with luxury costume jeweller, Vicki Sarge, the collections incorporates Swarovski crystals, freshwater pearls and rhinestone beads, as well as original ‘90s Polly Pocket figurines on clip-on earrings - our 10-year-old selves would be squealing with excitement.

“The definitive message for me is that great things come in small packages,” Mimi goes on. “It’s about your character and attributes rather than your physical stature. For this collaboration I wanted to highlight the idea of Polly being this tiny adventurer, and when I came up with the graphics, I was thinking about films that play with the element of perspective like Honey I Shrunk the Kids, The Taste of Tea, The Borrowers, and Land of the Giants.”

Mimi, a Central Saint Martins graduate, who made her London Fashion Week debut in February 2016, is no stranger to evoking nostalgia through her pieces. Her collections are constantly inspired by her actress grandmother Pamela Curran’s old Hollywood glamour. For now, though, she’s turning firmly to the decade of her youth, and, wearing a baby pink Polly Pocket slip and retro clip-on earrings, we’ll join her there.

Polly Pocket x Mimi Wade launches exclusively in Selfridges Oxford Street and at selfridges.com on Friday 17th August.

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Some say it's an open door. Some say it's when a single soul lives in two bodies. And, others say it's an overwhelming physiological response to spending a significant amount of time with another human being. Whatever you think love is, chances are that the person sitting right next to you (someone you love, even!) has an entirely different meaning.

The #loveisproject seeks to create a dictionary of definitions about what love means around the world — across countries, creeds, and cultures. Holding a beaded bracelet created by African brand LIFE Line, in collaboration with The Supply Change — a company that builds relationships between the design industry and global artisan communities — people from all over the world were shot for portraits while sharing their personal definition of the word.

The project was started by Chrissie Lam while on a trip from Russia to the Middle East, during a series of horrifying global events including the Malaysian Airlines catastrophe in Ukraine, the beginning of the Ebola outbreak, and a string of ISIS beheadings. "It was easy to forget that love exists. This project was a search for love to restore my faith in humanity. I found grace, gratitude, and grief in many answers," she said.

Lam has traveled to 90 countries so far and plans to continue around the world in the coming year. She's started an Indiegogo to raise awareness and funding to continue her #loveis journey, as well as to raise money to help the nonprofit CTC International create jobs around the world. For Lam herself, she said, "#Loveis energy. If you radiate positivity and love, you will openly receive it back." Click through for 37 more definitions from people around the world.

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353,000 babies might be born every day, but childbirth remains a mystery to many of us.

Two days after Autumn Benjamin gave birth to her daughter, Layla, she felt like she was looking at her life through blurred vision. She lay awake during the night crying and desperately working hard to get her daughter to latch, while the newborn resisted and screamed.

For the rest of the day, exhaustion and the side-effects from the medication prescribed to ease the pain of her vaginal rip took over. She drifted in and out of consciousness.

When she needed to shower her partner had to help. But all she can remember is collapsing into him and sobbing about the emptiness she was feeling, now their daughter was no longer inside her. Autumn didn’t understand the intenseness and hurt that was suddenly overpowering her emotions. This was far from what she had heard, and imagined, childbirth to be like.

As she sprayed lidocaine on her rip from the birth, she repeated over and over again, “She’s not safe inside of me anymore”. Her partner prepared her mesh panties with witch hazel pads. The fishnet-styled pants are designed to hold up women’s maxi pads to control all the bleeding that happens post-labour, and provide some comfort for mothers.

On the night that she remembers crying the most, she was standing to eat her dinner (sitting hurt too much), when her partner captured the photo below. The 22-year-old from Tennessee recently uploaded the snap to a Facebook post, along with an honest account of her experience of the aftermath of childbirth, which quickly went viral. In her own unapologetic, candid words, Autumn describes all of the things that no-one had warned her about giving birth.

Autumn writes, “No one told me your belly doesn’t go down immediately. No one told me I’d be bleeding out. No one told me that I would spend hours crying and full of emotion. I remember just laying there in the hospital bed crying. I was crying because my babygirl was finally here.. FINALLY! But wait.. that means she isn’t protected inside of me anymore. And that’s a scary feeling…”

“I was also in so much pain.. no one tells you that typically with a “quick delivery” comes a bad rip. I ripped all the way up and down, and also side to side. The weeks following I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t use the bathroom. I wore these big depends diapers. I never thought I would be normal again. Kevin had to help me do EVERYTHING from pee, to walk upstairs,” she adds.

The post resonated with people all over the world, garnering 125,000 shares, 149,000 likes, and 21,000 comments.

It is no secret that childbirth can be painful and gruelling, with even a ‘quick’ birth averaging at a minimum of six hours. But it can also traumatise women so why do we whisper about childbirth and its aftermath rather than openly discuss it?

We spoke to Autumn about why she decided to speak out about giving birth to her daughter Layla, why discussing the realities of childbirth has become off-limits, and what the reaction has been like since her post went viral.

Refinery29: You said you were thinking about sharing the Facebook post for a while, what stopped you before and why did you decide to share it when you did

What stopped me before was the fact that it was such a vulnerable picture, and it’s a very personal experience that only my spouse was there to experience with me. In posting it, there was a risk in everyone seeing that vulnerability.

I decided to share it because after I joined a postpartum depression (PPD) support group, I realised that tons of women felt the same way I did.

What do you wish you knew about childbirth before, that you know now?

I wish I would have known that you could experience extreme emptiness, even with your baby in your arms. Your body was just a vessel for nine months, and all of the sudden your baby is ripped out of you, so to speak. You get used to that weight, that feeling of your baby inside of you. Bonding over the womb. And then all of the sudden you just feel so empty.

It’s something that nobody warned me about. It was an extremely emotional thing to endure. I cried for hours and hours, even though I was so happy my daughter was finally here. I had yearned for her arrival for so long, yet I was so emotional over feeling so empty due to her arrival. It’s a very confusing and emotional time, and I wish there was more preparation for that.

After posting my story, over 100,000 women have shared my post and commented telling me how much they resonate with my story, and how they were emotional over that same emptiness. That’s enough to tell me that it’s not abnormal, and it needs to be talked about more. I’m a first-time mom and this information should have been more available to me.

Why do you think there’s such a taboo and stigma around speaking about the realities of childbirth?

I think there’s a stigma about the realities of birth for many reasons. For one, I’ve had a lot of negative comments on my post telling me “you’re not special, women have been doing this for years, and in worse conditions”.

People were really looking at my post and thinking 'she is seeking attention and a pat on the back'. With that, I realised that somewhere along the line, women stopped being appreciated and credited for what they go through to bring life into the world and started being criticised for rejoicing in their pregnancy, being proud of themselves, and telling their stories.

With this, so many women have lost their voices. So many women are stuck silently struggling because they are made to feel ashamed to speak about their experience. The worst part was the fact that I had other mothers tearing me down on my post... my post that was made to uplift other mothers and remind people that mothers should never be discredited.

Women face a lot of issues around childbirth and unfortunately all the issues have become so taboo to talk about. I can’t express enough how many women are silently struggling due to society shaming every move a mother makes.

As a mother, you want to make every single right move for your child and it’s scary knowing what those right moves are sometimes... there is always going to be someone with an opinion.

Can you tell us a bit about the physical complications of your birth? What doesn’t get talked about? What surprised you?

With my birth, there weren’t a ton of complications. I was induced and laboured really well. I handled the contractions pretty well and my epidural went smoothly aside from my extreme anxiety over getting one.

It was only afterwards, when the epidural wore off, that I started to feel the rip. I had no idea how bad it was until the following days. I ended up having to go get the stitches cut because they were all mangled and tangled after a couple weeks!

The complications came afterwards for me, from the emotional toll, to me ending up back in the hospital a week after having my daughter. I had a septic infection in my blood and had severe clotting in my pelvis and legs and was close to death.

My OB, Helen Cavasin, was amazing throughout the whole thing, from prenatal appointments, to birth, to making sure I was taken care of when I was hospitalised for the sepsis and clotting.

How are you coping with PDD?

My PPD is almost completely silenced. My daughter is almost seven months now and life has been incredible being her mama.

I have my bad days, even bad weeks. There are times when I don’t even have it in me to shower and brush my hair. But in those times, Kevin carries me. He’s sat and brushed tangles out of my hair for me before. He’s said so many encouraging things that keep me motivated both as a woman and as an individual. He’s been so important in all of this, and I couldn’t do it without him.

Having a strong support system is so important. Even if it’s just a friend, family member, or therapist. Having someone like that makes a world of difference. It’s okay to reach out.

What has the reaction to the post been like? Have any particular comments or stories stuck with you?

The reaction to the post has been overwhelming. I’ve gotten so much love and support from mothers. Like any good thing, there’s been a few bad apples and hate comments, but overall the support has been overwhelming.

I feel less alone, and I feel like I’ve done my part to speak for mothers who haven’t found their voice yet. I’ve read so many touching stories, I couldn’t summarise it down to just one. I’ve had mamas who have flatlined, who have dealt with a stillbirth, who have also suffered the way I did, mothers who have made this sacrifice time and time again for their babies. I wish I could hug all of them... they all sound so incredible. I wish they knew just how important they really are. I’m sad to hear a lot of them felt alone before reading my post.

The last line in your post reads "I used to be Autumn. Fun loving, crazy, outgoing Autumn. But now I’m Layla’s mama. And I’m okay with that". Are you saying you feel you have to give up your identity for motherhood? Would you be comfortable clarifying that comment for our readers?

Because in that moment when that picture was taken, I wasn’t that crazy outgoing Autumn anymore. Before I fell pregnant I was in a very dark place and suffered with severe anxiety and depression. In that moment, I was renamed as Layla’s Mama. In that moment nothing mattered but being her mama. I'm still fun loving, and all those great things but as Layla’s mama. She made me who I am now. And behind the word “mama” is so many other things: caregiver, teacher, therapist, booboo kisser, cuddle buddy, nurturer, best friend... so many meanings behind being a mama. Becoming her mama led me into so much more than I was before.

That line didn’t mean I lost my identity. It means I found it when I became her mama.

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For people who have never struggled to afford sanitary products, it can be difficult to comprehend the grim reality of period poverty. A tenth of girls and young women in the UK have struggled to pay for pads and tampons during their periods, with 12% resorting to using socks, rags, toilet roll and even newspaper in their place, according to research by Plan International UK.

Now, one social enterprise is harnessing the power of newspaper advertising to hammer home the extent of their hardship. Hey Girls UK, a not-for-profit company that donates one pack of pads to girls and women in need for every pack it sells, has released a proactive 'make your own sanitary pad' campaign highlighting the lengths some women and girls are forced to go during their periods.

The double-sided ads feature a cut-out outline of a sanitary towel, with 'fold' printed on its wings, and invite people to "make [their] own sanitary pad" out of newspaper. It's a powerful reminder that, far from being simply an advertising gimmick, this is real life for many women and girls in the UK.

"One in ten girls in the UK can't afford sanitary products. Every month they're forced to use loo roll, socks or even newspaper," the ad reads. "Help us end period poverty. For every Hey Girls box of pads you buy, we give a free box to a girl who needs it."

The ads ran in the Metro newspaper and The Big Issue for free on Monday to coincide with the brand's products launching in UK supermarkets for the first time.

The products, which are chlorine and bleach-free can also be bought online at £3.25 for a pack of eight pads and between £3.60 – £4.70 for a box of tampons. Hey Girls has already donated more than £85.5k boxes of pads and 42k boxes of tampons via food banks, women's centres and schools since it launched in January this year.

The company's Scotland-based founder Celia Hudson was about to retire from a career in the social enterprise and charity sector when her daughters Becky and Kate spurred her on to start her own. She was inspired to create the company by her own experience of single-parenthood and an understanding of "the financial strain of buying sanitary protection when you’re on a tight budget, bringing up a family and struggling to survive on benefits."

Speaking about the campaign, Hudson told Refinery29 UK: "We want people to be shocked and take a moment to stop and think. The thought of having to fashion a pad by scrunching up paper or socks and putting it in your underwear instead of wearing a suitable product is an awful one. People think that this is something that only happens elsewhere in the world, but it’s also happening right here on our doorstep, in the UK.”

“We thought it was really important to set up a sustainable way to address period poverty that’s not reliant on the government and donations. So we set up Hey Girls to tackle Period Poverty via something that we all do every month – purchase menstrual products. We provide an alternative shopping experience for those wishing to make a difference with the items they purchase for themselves every month. By buying social, customers are doing good directly via each pack they buy."

Hey Girls is also backed by period poverty campaigner Amika George, the 18-year-old powerhouse activist behind the #FreePeriods campaign, which is pushing for free sanitary products for girls who receive free school meals. George described the sale of the company's pads in UK supermarkets as "a hugely important milestone in the fight to end period poverty in the UK."

She added: "No girl should ever be missing out on her education because of her period, but with Hey Girl's buy-one-give-one scheme, more and more girls will be able to go to school with dignity, confidence and be the very best they can possibly be.”

You can buy Hey Girls sanitary products in store at Waitrose and Asda or online via the company's website.

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Given that more than 300 million people worldwide have had depression, we're all bound to have vastly different experiences living with it. But for many of us, depression isn't constant — there are good days and bad days. And on the really bad days, some people might go through a depressive episode, where they feel especially hopeless and like they can't get out of bed for days at a time.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, a depressive episode can be defined as a period of two weeks or longer where a person is in a depressed mood or feels other symptoms that might reflect a change in their functioning, like trouble sleeping or eating, and thoughts of suicide. Mind estimates that 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year.

A depressive episode, however, is more than a mental health issue. Susanne Babbel, PhD, a therapist based in San Francisco, says that there can be physical aspects to it, too.

"Symptoms can occur as deep sadness, withdrawal, hopelessness, change in eating patterns, severe constriction, and aches and pain," she says.

If you feel these symptoms come on, it's best to talk to a mental health professional and ask for help as soon as you can. Once you've had help from someone who can guide you through an episode, the most important thing to do is to continue to seek treatment (like going to therapy). But even as you recover and come out of a depressive spell, the transition can be difficult, and you might still find yourself exhausted and isolated.

And while support from a mental health professional is crucial, it's also important to have the support of your family and friends — though the nature of depression sometimes means that you distance yourself from those people during an episode. If that's the case, Dr. Babbel says that you can reach out to them and explain what you were going through.

"Be honest and educate them about what a depressive spell is and how they can be supportive," she says. "Reassure your friends that you care about them and that a depressive spell is not a reflection on your friendship with them."

Reassure your friends that you care about them and that a depressive spell is not a reflection on your friendship with them.

You might, for instance, say something like, "Hey, I'm sorry I've been a little absent. I've been going through a lot mental health-wise, but I still really care about you and our friendship, and I'd love to get together sometime soon."

Because at least half of people who have had a major depressive episode are at risk for more episodes down the road, those positive relationships are key to getting help and recovering, and so is being patient with yourself.

"Practice supportive, compassionate, and calming self-talk such as, This will not last forever and you get through this," Dr. Babbel says. "Nurture yourself by doing something nice and send a loving message to yourself."

She adds that it's helpful to try to recognise what triggered this episode, and what helps you heal so that you can better prepare yourself if you go through another one in the future.

"Learn the warning signals of your spells so you can catch it before you spiral down too far," she says. "Make a list of what works for you during and after a depressive spell and go back to it when you need to."

If your depressive episodes are occurring on a regular enough basis to affect your relationships and work life, Dr. Babbel says, that's something you should definitely bring up with a doctor. In the meantime, remember that managing depression is an ongoing process — and it might take time.

If you are experiencing depression and need support, please contact Samaritans on 116 123. All calls are free and will be answered in confidence.

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In an ideal world, everyone would be able to travel whenever they wanted to, money and vacation day allotment be damned. But in reality, life gets in the way, no matter how much your friend who recently studied abroad insists that anyone can travel if they really want to. For starters, even traveling on the cheap costs some kind of money, and not everyone can afford to make vacations a priority.

Still, almost all of us probably experience wanderlust at some point, or look at someone's Instagram photo from Iceland and think, I wish that were me! Even if you're not necessarily itching to globe-trot, Marni Amsellem, PhD, a clinical psychologist at Smart Health Psychology, says that you might just be desperate to get away from your day-to-day.

"You could be craving to get out of the rut that you’re in, and [travel is] equivalent to an escape from your reality," she says. "Visualising yourself on the beach or in some beautiful location might be the exact opposite of what you’re dealing with in the moment."

It also probably doesn't help that it can feel like everyone on your social feed is jetting off to Greece and Italy every other weekend while you're at home, feeling some very real FOMO.

Long story short, there could be a lot of different reasons you're feeling wanderlust, but Dr. Amsellem says it probably boils down to wanting a change of scenery, though some of us are more inclined to crave exploration than others.

"Some people are more naturally novelty seekers than others, so there is that temperamental difference and inclination towards seeking out things that are new," she says, adding that this can be especially true for people who would rather go to a new exotic locale every time they vacation, versus those who go back to their favourite city every year.

You could be craving to get out of the rut that you’re in, and [travel is] equivalent to an escape from your reality.

Either way, if you can't travel at the moment, there are still ways you can sate your wanderlust (though you might have to rely on your imagination a little).

For starters, Dr. Amsellem says you can't underestimate the power of a staycation.

"A staycation is takes you out of your zone," she says. "You might be seeing some of the same landscape, but you are removing yourself from your work email, the pile of bills, the pile of laundry, and whatever is stressful for you."

Sometimes, you do need to take a day to recalibrate and do all the chores you've neglected, but a staycation isn't about that — it's about getting a break from all of that. And as much as you think your city is too boring for a staycation, remember that the grass is always greener, and other people might see your city as an escape or vacation destination.

"There are people who come to where you are to get away from their reality," Dr. Amsellem says. "Imagine someone is coming to visit you who isn't from the area — what would you do with them?"

In other words, if you're dying to take a vacation but can't do a big getaway, it might be worth taking a day or two to yourself to try out that new restaurant you've been dying to sample, or to revisit all your favourite places in your city. (Personally, I love getting a weekday to go to the museum or my favourite brunch places when they're less likely to be teeming with people.)

If you really want to get away, Dr. Amsellem suggests starting to save up or plan for your dream vacation. You might not be able to go now, but planning and budgeting for it in advance might give you something to look forward to. After all, taking time off is great for your mental health, even if you don't use that time to fly across the world.

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